All The News That's Fit To Stink!

of course click on any picture for a larger version: 

Come Git You Some!

Obamacare Are You Reading This?  I'm a size 9.

Best. Police. Artist. Sketch. Ever. 

All Up In There!

It's Simple: "If You Don't Want None, Don't Start None!!"   Best Story Of  The Year:   

amy, jeff, rod

Don't Hate Them Cuz They're Beautiful!

rod

The Life and Times of a Young Porn Entrepreneur OR It Ain't Easy Bein' Sleazy

Victor:  food runner by night / porn king of Port Chester by late night!

Once we heard good ol Vicky had a porn cam website our imaginations went wild:

being used as a pugil stick on American Gladiators with Scary Mary:

Forget Hedonism, this is where all the swingers go:

Move over Larry Flint:

rod, jeff



These are a few of my favorite things:

One thing I learned from The Bad Girl's Club 2: Do not piss Tanisha off!!!

You just gotta see her in ACTION:

Even Kathy Griffin wants to "POP OFF": 

And when Tanisha breaks out the pots and pans ain't nobody gettin no sleep:

Does anybody but me remember Michel'le?

"I'll say I'm NICETY!!!

Is there or has there ever been a bigger pimp than Charlie Sheen?!  His is a life filled with cocaine binges, hotel rampages and hookers, porn stars & whores!!  AND he's the highest paid actor on televesion - for a show that no one I know watches and I've never seen! Don't hate the player...

rod 



AKA: Also Known As

Here is a list of some of the nicknames that the staff has come up with for our regulars over the years:

THE JADE SCORPION (do NOT cross her!)
THE SCHWAGOON (Jeff's made up word that just fits her to a T)
THE DOCKER
THE FAUX-DOCKER (don't be fooled by imitations!)
THE LESBIAN (a dude)
THE SCIENTIST (the Lesbian's friend)
THE BEDAZZLER (a classic! thanks Mickey!)
THE CYCLOPS AND THE PUSSY (a horrid couple)
THE ANIMAL (a "classy" old lady)
THE OLD KRAUT (turns out not even German)
THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG (2 chicks)
THE SOUL-LESS ONE (she's a huge douche bag)
THE BONNIE SPECIAL
THE SERIAL KILLER
THE WALRUS
THE HUNTER (as opposed to The Gatherer)
ROXETTE (she's got the look!)
PORNY SUE (a favorite nickname of mine! thanks Pablo!)
CLARK KENT
SHIRTZ McGEE (a classic!)
HOT & CRUSTY (again, 2 chicks)
BAD DAD
HOT DAD
DOUBLE JACK (Mickey's favorite!)
PONY BOY
AMAZONICA (ain't nuthin wrong with a big strong gurl!)
POOR MAN'S ALEC BALDWIN & KIM BASSINGER (and they really are!)
POOH (The Animal's friend)
SIR (father)
SIR JR. (his son)
SIR JR. JR. (his younger son) (all from the twisted mind of Ingrid!)
DER SHTINK
STELLA MIKE
BUDWEISER JOHN
COCAINE MIKE
DEBBIE DOUBLE D'S (and they are!)
MY PRETTY PONY (Yikes!)
3 FINGERS JOHN (referencing a sexual act!)
HEIDI
LIL' BABSY (the one and only!)
NEMESIS (my nemesis to be exact)
FANCY (queen of all cougars!)
KARDASHIAN (the lost 4th sister)
CABBAGE PATCH (Xavier Roberts approved!)
THE FROG
RUTH FISHER (straight from Six Feet Under)
CAPTAIN CASHMERE (another all-time classic)
SAD DAD
CHOCOLATE THUNDER
LOUDMOUTH LINDSAY (she is and we love her for it!)
CHESTER THE MOLESTER
VUNDERSHINES (complete assholes!)
SATAN (a great guy!)
PRINCE VALLIANT
PEBBLES (a 70 year old lady with Pebbles Flintstone's hair)
THE ICED TEA BOYS
GHALAMAHK ("calamari")
FEVER McKEEVER
SOCCER MOM (a dude, Maria's nemesis)
LE STAT
MR & MRS UNHAPPINESS
SAMMY HAGAR
ICHABOD
THE STEAK FAMILY
THE CHOIR BOYS
YETTA
CHIPOT-LAY (so fuckin pretentious!)
BABY HUEY (he smells like mildew)
HAGGRID
THEATER QUEEN (an old closet case)
LEATHER FACE
CRAW DADDY LA RUE

I tried to make sure that at least 3 people knew each reference.  Hit up the comments if you have any questions of the identities of these regulars or if you can add more to this ridiculous list.

Taint that a Grundle!

rod, jeff, joey

Hundo and Lil' Switchblade

So it was just as simple as Pablo coming up with the names, "Hundo" and "Lil' Switchblade".  For the last 13 years or so Pabs will call me "Lil' (whatever is on his mind)"  and we have a big laugh!  This night the name du jour was "Lil' Switchblade" - which made us crack up more than it should've.  Seconds later, in his too cool, "O.G." swagger,  he refered to a $100 bill as a "hundo" - which set us off  for another few hysterical minutes.  When we put the two names together as a duo was when we really started losing it! It just sounded like the perfectly cheesy 80's buddy team! 

e.g.: Tango and Cash:

 Turner and Hooch:

 B.J. and The Bear:

  Here's each of our renditions of what this dynamic duo would look like: 

Pab's Hundo



Pab's Hundo 2.0



Pab's Lil' Switchblade



Pab's Lil' Switchblade portrait





Rod's Hundo & Lil' Switchblade

As you can see we both were going in the same direction with how we saw this imaginary odd couple.  Essentially "Hundo" is a big galoot and "Lil' Switchblade" is a Chicano with obvious gang ties! 

In future satchel entries you'll come across this experiment again.  Some kind of misfit or another will come in to the restaurant and before you know it two or more of us have done their own rendition of the poor slob.  It's pretty twisted to see the different versions we come up with. 

And here's Pabs' updated version of this buck wild pair:

You can check out more of his stuff on his own blog:

http://chroniclesofpablo.blogspot.com/

pabs, rod